Keeping It Together (Most of the Time)

In this episode, Dina and Jules talk about what it really means to keep it together — not perfectly, not all the time, but in a way that works for us. From feeling overwhelmed to trying to find some kind of balance, it’s an honest conversation about how we cope when life feels a bit like a lot.

We chat about burnout, anxiety, and the quiet pressure to have everything under control, while also sharing the small things that help us get through. Nothing heavy or clinical — just a real, relatable conversation about doing your best and figuring it out as you go

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:06

Welcome to every day. This is us.

SPEAKER_01 0:12

Welcome back. Today we'll be talking about a little topic about keeping it together. Well, most of the time. Most of the time. Keeping our shit together. Sometimes we do, sometimes we don't. So, what does it actually mean to keep it together to you?

SPEAKER_00 0:37

What does it mean by keeping it together?

SPEAKER_01 0:39

Does it mean you don't scream yell at shout at someone, or does it just mean keeping that zen mode the entire day? And no matter what comes your way, you just go, it's okay.

SPEAKER_00 0:54

I'm under I'm I'm I'm keeping it together.

SPEAKER_01 1:00

I don't know, to me, honestly, um I you know I realized, you know, when I start my day and I say, okay, everything's working out perfectly in my life. I have to be grateful. Um, I'm so calm. I'm finally feeling free and easy and all that. Something goes wrong almost immediately after that.

SPEAKER_00 1:26

That's because you spoke too soon. You spoke too soon. I think it's really hard in this day and age to keep it together. We we I mean we'd like to keep it together for ourselves, for our mental health. I think that's that's where I feel that I would say I feel that I've kept it together if we're going to use that word for the day, um, is when I feel like my mental health is intact without being thrown off. Like I was really thrown off on Monday, like I was speaking to you before, where someone asked me for my phone number and I had a panic attack and didn't know what my phone number was, and I had to say, look, I have to call you back. I really don't know what my mobile number is. She must have thought, what the hell? But I guess it is when you feel overwhelmed by whatever situation it is, then you know that something something has thrown you off. It's either that or the mercury where to go.

unknown 2:18

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 2:19

I don't know. To me, it's like um, you know, sometimes I just put way too much on my plate. And you know, I hate those days where I'm literally running from morning till night. Yeah, they're the worst. And if something along the way goes wrong, or you know, like I'm planned, unplanned, or I'm late, or you know, there's like a memorable, oh my gosh, and then I just like lose it, and then I realize I have taken on too much. Yeah, and I think this is where you know the problem is like why why we lose it or why we you know we feel so unstable is because it's just sometimes way overwhelming.

SPEAKER_00 3:02

It is, it's overwhelming, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:04

Um, but I don't know, like I and I think it's a lot to do with the burnout, right? When we we we put you know, we don't have as much gas in in ourselves, yeah, yeah, yeah. And we put way too many miles in it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, so I I find you know lately I've kind of um been able to calm myself down a lot easier. I think it's a lot to do with the fact that you know I worked a lot on my mental health and on my health in general, and uh you know I've I've learned how not to get overwhelmed overwhelmed. Yeah, and I think you know, I that's that's where the key is. How do you yourself bring yourself back to yourself?

SPEAKER_00 3:51

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:52

How do you calm yourself in a situation which is extremely stressful or things go wrong, or you know, the kids act up, or you know, someone yells at you on the street. Like, how do you bring yourself in that moment together and not overreact? You know, like and I think it's it's a matter of practice. And I've kind of like been psyching myself every day, being like, okay, no matter what, you know, keep it under control. Yeah, uh, I I'm not saying I'm I'm not showing my emotions, I am, but yeah, I realize that if I do things in a calm way, less things go wrong.

SPEAKER_00 4:34

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 4:35

If I start reacting or overreacting, or panicking, or panicking, more and more things will go wrong that day.

SPEAKER_00 4:43

Well, I guess because your mind frame isn't in the right state of mind, if you are, and so it you're bound to make some wrong decisions or yeah, you know, different decisions that might impact it. I think that's probably where it comes from, too.

SPEAKER_01 5:01

Yeah, and I think when your body and your mind is not wide, stable, like not stable, but like when it's constantly like stressed, stressed, stressed, you are also attracting more of these you know, negative things onto yourself because you know you're vibrating at that high, high, high energy, yeah, and more things are happening. So that's why I always like lately I've realized I have to really step back and not let the circumstance throw me off completely.

SPEAKER_00 5:35

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's easier said than done. I mean, in some cases, like you know, road rage, which I definitely don't have, and I never, you know, react, but it is quite interesting how many people do tend to go out on the day and not deal, you know, like you can see automatically they're not dealing with their emotions.

SPEAKER_01 5:58

Yeah, you can see it everywhere.

SPEAKER_00 5:59

Yeah, and I tend to when people do go off their heads at me for whatever reason, I've learned to say, ask them if they're okay. I don't know what it is, but it just seems to make them stop and and rethink and rethink how they're behaviour how they're behaving.

SPEAKER_01 6:16

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 6:18

Because it is very easy in this day and age to take it personally, and I I you know I have done that in the past where you take it personally, where you think, oh maybe I looked at them, maybe I looked at them the wrong way or did something that may have aggravated it, but you sometimes it's just the person's mind, the space, the headspace they're in. Like you said, you know, they could be running around waiting to pick up their kids or something could be you never know what's going on in people's worlds.

SPEAKER_01 6:42

Yeah, that's true, that's true. And I think you know, things that we are also surrounded with doesn't help. No, gosh. You know, we're we're constantly under stress and uh expectations and media societal pressure, societal pressure, and we're you know, like we're constantly just looking at like, oh what you know, why are things not going the way that I want them? And we all expect things to go right for ourselves too much, I think.

SPEAKER_00 7:12

Like well, it's just sometimes we can be a bit hard on ourselves. You know, we have yeah, you do have expectations on yourself, I think.

SPEAKER_01 7:18

Yeah, yeah, but I I think also people have are are you know, especially those that like have this rage in them, I think they're too focused on themselves and and selfishness is well it's a lack of self-awareness too.

SPEAKER_00 7:32

I think it's complete lack of self-awareness, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:35

Where you're only you know reacting to yourself and what is important for you, and we don't look at a society as a whole anymore where you know like we don't put enough effort to live in a peaceful, nice environment. Yeah, like we're just constantly pointing fingers, accusing everybody for something, and that's where the stress comes in.

SPEAKER_00 7:58

Yeah, yeah. And I don't think a lot of people live in the moment is probably the word. Yeah, you know, they're always like 10 steps ahead, or and that's I think where it all goes wrong. It's where you get derailed, I think. Yeah. If you're that far ahead and not seeing things for what they truly are, you know, like you know, a lot of people can sort of exaggerate once they're in that rage. Yeah. Like you said, you really do need to step back because it's like looking at yourself in the mirror. It's not it's not always as it seems, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 8:29

Exactly. And I think also what helped what helps a lot, I know this is a very cliche thing to say, but just being grateful is what brings me into the moment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because sometimes I'm also thinking like, oh, you know, planning the next trip, or oh, you know, what's gonna happen next week, and this and that, you're constantly like kind of like thinking for the future. But then the the one thing that really brings me into the moment is just understanding what I already have and being grateful for what is there and all what you lack, yeah. Uh because I don't know, I think when I was younger, I was really focusing too much on the negative stuff or what you didn't have or uh you know things will get better when things you know when this happens or when this amount of time passes by, or when this I get this, or and you're constantly living somewhere else, like your mind is not really enjoying any of the moments, and it's so easy to be in this loop loop, yeah. So, you know, I always try to as soon as when I have a little bit of time when I'm driving or when I'm you know going to sleep, I try to really you know aggregate all my thoughts, all my good things that I have in my life, how man no matter how small small, oh absolutely, and um it really really brings you into now.

SPEAKER_00 10:00

Yeah, yeah, I do that too. Every time before I go to sleep, I at least I have five things that I reel off that I'm grateful for in the day. It could be anything, it could be sunshine, could be in my house, could be just anything. Exactly. You know, like even if I've driven to Zagreb and it's been crazy, and I remember the other day where I was telling you that the car exploded, you know, I think gratitude that I wasn't behind it or in front of it, or you know, like just those things that you know you it could be a variety you've come back safe. It's it is, it's uh it's it really does bring you back into yourself, I think. It grounds you, it's grounding.

SPEAKER_01 10:35

Yeah, and and also knowing at the back of your mind that I think that something can go wrong, like something big can happen, you know, like I think that also having that kind of at the back of your mind is good. Like knowing that you know some something can happen tomorrow and it will completely throw your life off track, you know. Just being a little prepared for that is also good.

SPEAKER_00 11:04

Yeah, uh that's more like you know, that whole it too shall pass. So it's like making sure that you celebrate the lows and the highs. Yeah, because yeah, you can be it's like when you know people who have that five minute of fame and they sit in that and they think it's gonna last forever. Nothing does. So it's just like being able to be uh grateful, I suppose, for the good and the bad, because that's that's just the the human experience, really.

SPEAKER_01 11:35

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and I think you know it does come with experience and with age and it comes with wisdom. Wisdom, like understanding, you know, um what is happiness, what makes us excited, and what life is really about. It's not, you know, like it's not constantly searching for something more, something bigger, something in the future, but it's actually that's it.

SPEAKER_00 12:01

I'm saying staying remote. That's where I was getting at before is like being in the present moment. Yeah. Yeah. Because it's like, why do you want to why do you want to know what happens in the future? It's like yeah, that can change in an instance anyway.

SPEAKER_01 12:15

So it's just like and also social media doesn't help, right? It doesn't. Um, you know, I was just not at all. I was just looking through some photos of this celebrity that I follow and I admire. And she went to Venice like this weekend, and I went to Venice the weekend before that. Yeah. And I'm looking at her photos in such a admirable way. Right. Like, oh, look how beautiful that. And I'm thinking, but wait a minute, I was there like two weeks ago. But and and this is what made me realize, oh my gosh, when you look at a photo, it gives you this kind of like peace. And you you you look at it as like, oh, this is such a peaceful moment, right? Where she is, where she's posing. But when you are in that moment, you don't you don't look at it that way. No, no, no. You know, because you are like thinking where to go next, yeah, yeah, yeah. What to do next? Oh, is there people we need to move because the the the people are gonna pass, we can't take a photo. And then I realized it's actually such a uh a portrayal of such wrong reality. Photos are not reality, and it's even small things can seem much bigger when you look at it from a photo, you're like, and then you start to feel like, oh, I wish you know I could live a life like that, but then you don't know, you don't know anything that is behind that.

SPEAKER_00 13:44

Behind all that, yeah, yeah, yeah, and how long it took to set up and how many filters of exactly because you know every picture tells a very different story to a lot of different people, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:56

And especially with you know, like this unrealistic looks of people and plastic surgeries and all the and again AI filters. AI filters, and you know, we spoke about this a few weeks ago, like how can these surgeries be so good? But then if you look at a video of these people, actually you can see that their skin is not 100%, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's the filters, so again, you're going under the knife, you're going on through the filter, and we are here looking at these thinking, oh my gosh, like how can they look so young or so good? But actually it's most of it's fake.

SPEAKER_00 14:36

Again, again, it's all that I said, take it's that perspective too. I think it can be quite um deceiving. Yeah, it is deceiving, and like you said, you know, it is everyone and everyone experiences it differently from Venice. You know what I mean? Don't you think? Like what you how you experience Venice is definitely someone you know completely different, and how someone else portrays it, and it'll always engage, everyone will engage a different audience based on that. Everyone.

SPEAKER_01 15:05

So how do we how do we help ourselves to keep it together to keep like from burn out? Yeah, to not burn out, to not lose our minds. What what are the best kind of tools that we have? Is it therapy? Is it um talking to someone?

SPEAKER_00 15:24

I think talking to someone is a big way of releasing that yeah, talking to someone that you um trust, I think, is very important. Yeah, of course. Um where you don't feel like you are a burden to, but yeah, I think that's very important, particularly for people who struggle um uh with you know mental health or anything. I think so. I mean I've always struggled particularly from anxiety and depression are younger, but more anxiety than anything else.

SPEAKER_01 16:02

And I think I think that's what therapy is very good. Therapy's good um because you are releasing it onto someone else who can also probably look at it from their point of view. From a different perspective, yeah. And give you some awfully good advice back.

SPEAKER_00 16:18

I guess it's hard because you know, when you are I mean, I can't speak but it is important in the sense where you got you can see it from a different perspective. Because I I was in an in an anxiety loop for nearly 20 years. Um and I found that um talking to a professional really uh triggered something within me in order to see it from a different light, I suppose. And then you feel supportive, I think, from that. It's and it's also from people who do have um burnout or are stressed or overwhelmed or have anxiety or whatever have you. It is always a good feeling to know that there is someone out there that understands what you're going through and more so doesn't judge you that there is anything. I mean, I've in the latter years uh I meditate and breathing is huge for me. Like breathing exercises for me are I do them everywhere. Car, you know, before I go to sleep. Just to calm the calm the nervous system down and yeah, to try and really calm down that overwhelming sensation. And you know, most of the time it even cool it calms your brain enough to, you know, for your spiraling thoughts and yeah, bring me it brings me back to center. What about yourself?

SPEAKER_01 17:45

Yeah, totally. I think even talking to to a friend uh that you trust is already a big thing because I think just releasing it out there and like because when you when something happens and you're keeping it within yourself, you start to spiral, you start to talk to yourself, yeah. You know, and and and then it goes like maybe you maybe in your head it becomes a bigger problem than it is. Of course, of course, and when you actually say it out loud to somebody and you kind of remove yourself from the photo from that situation, it helps. Yeah, and just release it out there, you know, like just to kind of be like, okay, it's out there, and yeah, now now I'm okay with it. I dealt with it, and of course, discussing it with someone going back and forth helps as well. Yeah, um, yeah, meditating. I don't usually meditate if I'm under stress because I can't I can't focus on it. Yeah, yeah, you can't focus, yeah. But you know, taking a walk, um, doing a bit of uh yoga or something like that that will move my body around and relax it. Uh breathing, yes, breathing is definitely a big thing, and it doesn't even have to be so complicated, you know. You just you can take 10 minutes just to calm yourself down. Um, but yeah, it eventually gets easier. I think it gets easier as you practice to bring yourself back into the calm state and not let your mind go crazy.

SPEAKER_00 19:24

But I think it it everything, it a lot of different things work for different people. I think exactly um, you know, walking for me is an absolute must. If I feel like I'm spiring, I just I literally shove myself out the door just to walk in the forest. I mean, I have been known to if I'm in the forest deep, if I'm going through something really tough, I've been known to have a good, good big yell just to let it all out, and then it's fine. Yeah, because it's almost like you know, you're not hurting anybody. Just releasing that emotion in emotion, yeah, because it's like a you know, sometimes it does, it ends up being a big knot, and then you it's um it can be difficult to survive and release it. Yeah, and in this day and age, so sometimes you know, poor old trees up in the forest, lucky she comes again.

SPEAKER_01 20:16

But if there was something that some advice that you could give your younger self, like let's say for our listeners who you know are maybe stuck in this loop loop and and and can't seem to get out of it, what would be a piece of advice that you could give them that could help?

SPEAKER_00 20:34

For me, it'll be like I've always gone this two-shell past, but it's more like it's never as bad as it seems. Yeah. It's never as bad as it seems. I remember when I was going through my um very, very hard, nasty divorce many years ago, and I just thought this this my life is over. Yeah, and uh a dear friend of mine put it his hand on my on my arm and said, and he said, It is nothing is as bad as it seems, like it'll just pass, and in a year's time you won't be feeling like this, you know, like you can't, yeah. That's probably what I give myself is to not worry, it will pass, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:16

Yeah, I think I think um when we are younger, certain worries that seem so huge exasperated, yeah, are actually not that big, and as you get older you deal you learn to deal with a lot bigger problems.

SPEAKER_00 21:33

Do you ever look back now at some of the things that happened in your younger self and you think, oh my god, seriously? Yeah, you know, that's that's where I'm getting at it.

SPEAKER_01 21:39

Yeah, exactly. I think when you're younger, it's important to enjoy the moments more, enjoy everything, enjoy the youth, enjoy your friendships, and and and and stop focusing on smaller things. I think that's what I would tell myself. Stop stop stop being petty. Petty, petty things, like you know. Stop stressing so much because it's not worth it in the end. In the end, you don't get anything, you're just damaging your health and your mental health. It's not fun.

SPEAKER_00 22:12

And then when you write, and then if you were ever to write it down on a piece of paper, you would it would just resonate completely different to what's going on in your mind, and you just think this is just ridiculous. Yeah. It is, it's very difficult, like I said, when you're in that loop. But yeah, that that's a good idea.

SPEAKER_01 22:26

Yeah, especially and I think it's it's important also to you know have some people around that you can trust.

SPEAKER_00 22:33

Support, I think a support system is very important.

SPEAKER_01 22:35

If you don't have someone you can trust at that moment, then of course therapies is the other way. But just kind of like have someone there to discuss it with, to put in perspective that you know, not everything is as great as a great as a sense, yeah, it's great as the same, yeah. And you know, um juggling is not easy, and I think being prepared to go under very difficult situations, like especially you know, if you have young children or you have elderly parents that you need to take care of. Single mums, yeah. A lot of these things you need to kind of understand that for a short period of time it's going to be very tough. Yeah, but we just have to go through it. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:26

Well, again, it's part of the human experience because again, that guy, the the person that told me about intuition pass, he said, just so you know, it's gonna get worse before it gets better. Yeah, and that's just that's just part of the human experience. You can't avoid that. And why should you? Why should you be entitled to avoid that? It's just part of being human, really, really truly. And the more you try to fight it, fight it, the worse it actually gets. Because you're trying, you're trying to stop yourself from experiencing grief and fear and loss. It's just it's impossible. Exactly. You'd be a robot otherwise, you know. I don't know. Like just yeah. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 24:01

Yeah, I think um it's an interesting topic, and everyone has their own ways of coping mechanism.

SPEAKER_00 24:09

Coping.

SPEAKER_01 24:09

Yep. Um, I think for me, the most important thing is that you're not hurting yourself, yeah. And of course the people around you. But first of all, it's yourself because it's not good to keep everything bottled in either. Um, it's not good to always overreact or you know, have have a huge reaction to it. So I think it's it's important to work on that inner peace for yourself, yeah, so that you don't get into more problems or hurt people around you or confuse yourself as well. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:46

I think that's been the key, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:49

Um key message. Key message, and yeah, just find find your own mechanism that works for you in situations that are very stressful and not what someone else is doing, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:01

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 25:03

All right, I hope you guys enjoyed this little topic. And we went deep today, we went off the light ones for a while, and uh yeah, maybe some of this our advice can help you.

SPEAKER_00 25:15

Yeah, and resonates with you for sure.

SPEAKER_01 25:17

Do let us know, and yeah, I hope we see you next week.

SPEAKER_00 25:22

Yep, thanks for tuning in again.

SPEAKER_01 25:24

Thank you guys.

SPEAKER_00 25:25

Bye, see ya.